FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org I guess everyone here kinda falls under the don't date coworkers clause huh. Crap... But this isn't like a normal job at all...
[ Zoomy get off his back... Maybe he's rebounding... Maybe he's just really lonely and a total loser... Let him have something. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Maybe his secret is that he reprograms everything into death machines and that's why he's on green. He's gonna turn your rover into a Transformer.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Watch your back in there before you know it your cuff is going to try and taze you in your sleep.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org I donno dude, it's possible to be both...
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Well... I mean I'm no expert. Does it look any different? Any extra buttons? Any little icons on your interface?
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org WAIT I've seen something like this before check the inside for hidden needles
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org But don't take it off to look I don't know if you got that speech or not don't ever take it off. See if you can like peek under it
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Yeah little springloaded ones
[ In 45 years, he does?! Cool Past Sigma's just trying to look out for you, dude!! ... It didn't get you, did it dude... Dude..! Wait he texted back. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org No probably not... Yeah looking at it it'd be a bulky deal to sneak into something like this I'm sorry man my brain's been in a weird place
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org I guess a better question to start with would have been what did he reprogram it to do?
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Oh. That sounds like more than I would program it to do if I could've programmed for shit at that age. The kitchen part anyway, maybe he does use his powers for good.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Constant vigilance tho, no one freshman should have that kind of power. He could make it steal your lunch while it cleans.
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org He also programmed it to yell a warning for five minutes if we don't give the right password each time we enter the rover. Who cares about passwords??
[None of them are eight anymore, for crying out loud.]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org Do you know how to program things too?
[ Look he could be studying it it's not that weird wow what do you know. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org I think so, but you don't have to break it or anything. You could just... misplace it. Take out the batteries? Or lock it in something... something soundproof.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Yeah, thankfully none of my roommates seem to think it would be improved by blowing out its speakers at people. Or at least if they do I don't think they can program.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org I mean, I wouldn't call them normal... One of them's like special ops military veteran and the other's some sort of crazy water witch. We're supposed to have a fourth but she hasn't been around...
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Just her little fuzzy monkey pet thing. Anyway you got any roommates to cushion your personal tween nerd hell or are they all a little wack?
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org I wasn't talking about HER credentials I'm talking about how she's a serial killer and you know this implying she's open about the fact!
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org There might be rules but like "don't kill people" is a pretty big universal rule and she's already broken that one what makes you think she'll follow anything else??
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Not with that attitude. If you can't do anything else make sure to give her hell. Fight to the death, write her name in your blood!! And how lame she is if you have enough.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org What is her name anyway?
[ He needs to know who to get revenge on if you can't manage a dying message. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org Also I'm kidding, the CDC wouldn't hire anyone that unreasonable would they... Still, stay on your toes.
no subject
I guess everyone here kinda falls under the don't date coworkers clause huh. Crap... But this isn't like a normal job at all...
[ Zoomy get off his back... Maybe he's rebounding... Maybe he's just really lonely and a total loser... Let him have something. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Maybe his secret is that he reprograms everything into death machines and that's why he's on green. He's gonna turn your rover into a Transformer.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Watch your back in there before you know it your cuff is going to try and taze you in your sleep.
no subject
He wouldn’t do that. He’s annoying not evil.
[......Right? Shit.]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
Do you know how to check if he turned my cuff into some sort of weapon?
no subject
I donno dude, it's possible to be both...
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Well... I mean I'm no expert. Does it look any different? Any extra buttons? Any little icons on your interface?
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
WAIT I've seen something like this before check the inside for hidden needles
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
But don't take it off to look I don't know if you got that speech or not don't ever take it off.
See if you can like peek under it
i can't believe this thread
Needles??
[WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. Who puts needles inside of a cuff??? Also brb, give him a minute while he vainly.....tries....to check.....]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
If I can't see anything that means there's nothing there, right?
we had a goal in mind didn't we. where did it go
Yeah little springloaded ones
[ In 45 years, he does?! Cool Past Sigma's just trying to look out for you, dude!! ... It didn't get you, did it dude... Dude..! Wait he texted back. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
No probably not... Yeah looking at it it'd be a bulky deal to sneak into something like this I'm sorry man my brain's been in a weird place
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
I guess a better question to start with would have been what did he reprogram it to do?
hell if i know
It's better to be safe than sorry.
[He still appreciates you, don't worry bro.]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
And he reprogrammed it to clean the kitchen and play really loud music.
no subject
True that
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Oh. That sounds like more than I would program it to do if I could've programmed for shit at that age. The kitchen part anyway, maybe he does use his powers for good.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Constant vigilance tho, no one freshman should have that kind of power. He could make it steal your lunch while it cleans.
no subject
He also programmed it to yell a warning for five minutes if we don't give the right password each time we enter the rover. Who cares about passwords??
[None of them are eight anymore, for crying out loud.]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
Do you know how to program things too?
no subject
Okay nevermind he is an evil little 12 year old. Aren't rovers already locked to your cuffs? What's the point???
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Well, not really. Not yet.
[ Long story. But he can't counter-hack for you, sorry bro. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
What all does it do around the rover besides yell and clean a little? You think anyone would... miss it...
no subject
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
Are they property of the CDC? Won't they fine us if we break them? I don't have any money.
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
Is yours still normal?
no subject
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
I think so, but you don't have to break it or anything. You could just... misplace it. Take out the batteries? Or lock it in something... something soundproof.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Yeah, thankfully none of my roommates seem to think it would be improved by blowing out its speakers at people. Or at least if they do I don't think they can program.
no subject
I'll try that next time.
[And if he gets his ass hauled off to haroomba jail, it'll be all Sigma's fault.]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc
So all your roommates are normal then? I'm jealous.
no subject
Godspeed
[ He'll bail you out, bro!! ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
I mean, I wouldn't call them normal... One of them's like special ops military veteran and the other's some sort of crazy water witch. We're supposed to have a fourth but she hasn't been around...
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Just her little fuzzy monkey pet thing. Anyway you got any roommates to cushion your personal tween nerd hell or are they all a little wack?
no subject
Water witch??
[The fuck....]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajim@cdc.org
There's also a serial killer and a psychic. I don't know if he's a real psychic or just bluffing though.
no subject
I don't know she can move water around with her mind, it's pretty cool actually
[ —UH. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Wait you're concerned about the psychic's credentials when you room with a serial killer????
no subject
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
I already know she's a serial killer! But there have to be rules against killing each other right?
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
Maybe she made a deal to kill other people and not us.
no subject
I wasn't talking about HER credentials I'm talking about how she's a serial killer and you know this implying she's open about the fact!
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
There might be rules but like "don't kill people" is a pretty big universal rule and she's already broken that one what makes you think she'll follow anything else??
[ Doesn't he just inspire confidence. ]
no subject
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
What else am I supposed to do?? It's not like I can fight her if she tries to kill me.
[Ugh this is stupid.]
FROM: iwaizumi.hajime@cdc.org
She won't kill me. I'll be fine.
no subject
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Not with that attitude. If you can't do anything else make sure to give her hell. Fight to the death, write her name in your blood!! And how lame she is if you have enough.
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
What is her name anyway?
[ He needs to know who to get revenge on if you can't manage a dying message. ]
FROM: klim.sigma@cdc.org
Also I'm kidding, the CDC wouldn't hire anyone that unreasonable would they... Still, stay on your toes.
no subject
Her name is Fox. [Yeah, don't ask him.] And I will.