[ Honestly, the whole tactile thing is a pretty big change of pace for him too. Most women he'd dated weren't all that into being as manhandled as Ramir, but then again none of them ever manhandled as much as Ramir. On top of that being new and exciting, everything about her is just so earnest, physically and emotionally... It isn't foreign but it's so unbelievably nice... ]
[ When he drops down beside her, he purses his lips a little. There's always expectations, but with her... Ah. Right. ]
Yeah, no kidding... I've been thinking about it since the whole volcano thing, but like, I don't even know where to start. [ His face scrunches up a little. ] Fighting gods definitely wasn't the answer, I'll tell you that.
[ She doesn't look pleased as she says it. She can rip apart monsters and shit, but it's not exactly a graceful solution to fighting, and she's about out of luck with anything that resists her strength. And then there's Sigma, and his stunt with the drowning... yeah, it wasn't a great time. ]
Anyway, I got a plan there. Are you willing to put in the time to learn a couple things?
[ She glances up at him as she asks it, genuinely curious. She would have turned down training earlier, before Nalawi. Now she's pretty sure she's got the patience to learn how to better herself, but she wouldn't expect it from everyone. ]
[ He looks immediately sorry for bringing it up, he really doesn't like thinking about it any more than her. ]
[ Anyway, he perks up again at her proposition. Even if she isn't formally trained in anything, she's definitely been in more than enough fights to have way more of an idea of what to do than him, in every way shape and form. ]
Yeah, of course, absolutely. What've you got in mind?
[ She's quick with a smile, and lifts a hand to tick off names. ]
Koltira, Achilles, Graham, or... hm, maybe Gilgamesh. [ Can Gilgamesh fight, like, without just throwing a hundred swords at stuff? She's not sure, but it seems likely. She's still smiling, right up until she remembers a potentially devastating fact, and it falls sharply: ] Wait. Oh, shit, I never got around to Achilles! I really wanted to sleep with that guy.
[ A couple of these names are familiar, and as far as he's aware they're all pretty good fighters, but when her face falls he can practically hear the record screech in her train of thought. It's so out of the blue to him, it takes him a second to actually register what she means, which is kind of astounding considering how blunt she'd put it. ]
Wh-- Oh come on, it's been two minutes!
[ If not genuinely wounded, he does look genuinely whacked across the face at least. Like she'd taken a rolled up newspaper to a dog's snout. Knowing her for her, a part of him is striving to laugh it off, but the excitement from her agreeing to try some sort of dating is still way too raw for that kind of salt. ]
[ If she was going somewhere with that list, it's a little lost on him now. ]
[ And for her part, she looks genuinely bummed. That guy is so... gorgeous, all fit and sculpted and stuff. If only she'd moved a little faster, prioritized that a little more. ]
I'm getting used to it, okay! [ She dwells on her disappointment for a few seconds, then takes a breath in and lets it out as a low sigh. Like she's coming to a decision: ] He looks good, but he's completely insufferable. I'd rather date you than fuck him.
[ Okay, that's a conclusion she can live with. And, realizing a little slowly this may have been slightly insensitive, she leans to press a kiss to Sigma, half cheek and half corner of his mouth. ]
Sorry. You wanna fantasize about any hot chicks, you're more than welcome, I promise.
[ (Man, once we get Sigma to loosen up let me popcorn that pursuit, that cultural headbutting and supernatural strength is gonna be a sight to behold.) ]
[ But once she resolves her regret, he lets out a little huff of something that's probably more relief than he'd care to admit out loud, and goes about avoiding that admission with another drink. It's hypocritical relief at best; there sure are plenty of women here he wouldn't have minded cozying up to, he's just managed to find the best one first. He's gonna cling a little. ]
Thanks. I'll try to keep that list to myself though. [ The kiss nudges the corner of his mouth back into a smile, and he leans up to return one to her temple. ]
So... what was it you were saying about those guys?
[ Returned fire on the kisses feels like a good truce to her, so she lands a content smile. ]
I think they'd be good trainers. [ She drapes one leg over Sigma's as she settles against his side, sipping from her drink. ] And I could really fucking use it — we could use it, plus a few more around here, I bet.
[ She didn't give a shit the first half year she was in ALASTAIR, but suddenly she's started caring about the members around her, and taking a definite interest in whether or not they survive the next world. It sounds like a lot of work, but it's ultimately for the best. ]
[ At the intrusion, he hooks a hand over her knee, gets the other around her waist after setting aside an emptied drink and slumps a little lower in the warm water. He'd... actually sort of forgotten how strong the deer stuff really was on humans, being all distracted like this. ]
You're telling me. I kinda feel like everyone here is either mega competent or not at all, and there's nothing in between...
[ A beat of consideration. ]
Well you're sorta in between I guess, but you've got all that super strength going for you, most of the time... What, gonna ask 'em to teach classes?
[ For her part, Ramir is going to need considerably more to start feeling it. But that's fine, she's content enough to be sober when she tips her head against his chest thoughtfully. ]
I'm gonna be mega competent. [ That's out in a mumble, mostly because she can't really deny that without her strength, she's not much. Anyway. ] But yeah, that's what I got in mind. Not sure yet what I'll offer back, but I figure some of 'em will do it outta the goodness of their hearts.
[ People are stupid to just do things and not expect anything in return, but if it's offered she'll definitely take it.
With a glance up and a crooked smile: ] You'll take classes with me, right?
[ It's fine, he probably needs to learn to not be so one-track-minded in her vicinity. Harder to notice it sitting down anyway. We're good. ]
[ He snickers a little too easily at her mumble though. To be fair, the number of very solid things he's seen her wrench apart in a terrifying and slightly sexy manner has already put her in the Mega Competent category for him, and despite being depowered on Nalawi once upon a cult kidnapping she still had way more of an idea how to carry herself in a brawl than him, even if it wasn't polished. ]
[ The thought of her professionally trained in combat is worth a straight up shiver down his spine tbh. ]
You think? [ The goodness of their hearts thing. Sure, there are some real gems here, but most of the high-powered people he's met here have been pretty dickish so far. That aside, he blinks a little at her suggestion. ] Of course I would, that'd be awesome. But...
[ Misplaced bewilderment morphs into pretty justified apprehension. ]
Maybe just as long as we don't like, pair up and practice or anything. I feel like if you put in any sort of effort I'd end up in the hospital...
[ She's sure she can get some of them volunteering for nothing in return. Definitely Graham. Maybe Koltira. But that's logistics, and she's not going to worry about it just yet. ]
Are you kidding? I'm definitely gonna practice with someone hardier than the average human.
[ She makes a face at the thought of sparring with Sigma. She's usually pretty stingy with her apologies, but any time she's accidentally hurt him, even a little, has generally warranted one. She'd hate herself if she got carried away in training and did any real harm. ]
Don't tell anyone, but I fucking hate misjudging this shit and getting someone hurt. [ Those control issues she might be able to acknowledge she has. She heaves a sigh and intercepts that hand at her knee to thread her fingers through his and give it a squeeze. ] It happens less than it used to, but I bet this whole thing will make it a whole lot easier not to at all.
Yeah, course you are. [ Haha he was only kind of kidding. (He wasn't really kidding.) It's probably common sense to not pit them against one another even casually, but it's still a little relieving somehow... ]
[ His hand forms to hers on contact, the gesture so frequently inflicted that it's practically muscle memory by this point. Quick and thoughtless, not even enough to punctuate the sudden seriousness in her words. So he'll take that upon himself, ducking his head and nudging her's up until he's forehead-to-forehead and grinning down her sincerity. ]
Well if it makes you feel any better, you got a pretty good track record in other uh, fields demanding physical judgment... For the most part. [ To date, he's probably only gotten one pretty spectacular bruise that wasn't at least partially his fault, right. ]
[ For real though, the grin sobers itself up before pressing to her lips, short and off-center, but brimming with something knowing. Being largely unconscious for the majority of her more serious freak outs didn't make it much less obvious that she's a real softie in there somewhere under all the brawn, no need to tell him twice. ]
Always room for improvement though... Seriously, this is a good plan you've got going, for all of us. I'm definitely in.
[ There's something about all this that catches Ramir off guard. By now she's used to Sigma being so delightfully physical, talking with actions as well as words, and of course she's used to him being generally sweet. But getting support like this from someone is a pretty novel feeling, most of Ramir's time is spent cajoling people to go along with her ideas and fighting to win them over. Then there's this guy, already on board and ready to help out.
Put all together like this... she decides she likes the label they picked up.
She smiles and shifts to lean up and grab another kiss, less short and less off-center. Appreciative. ]
Hey, Sigma. [ She doesn't go far when she pulls back again, and the smile hasn't gone anywhere. ] Tell me about your parents. Or whoever you grew up with, whatever.
[ If she's got a boyfriend, she may as well start actually learning about him. ]
[ Speaking of being caught off guard, the kiss is barely over and she's gone completely off the wall. He leans back a little further, brow furrowed in complete bewilderment. ]
What— Where'd that come from all of a sudden? Don't tell me you wanna meet 'em already.
[ Thanks, booze, for not letting the laugh in his voice be hampered by the fact that at this point in history there's about a 75% chance that they're dead. Anyway, his head tilts a little at her persisting grin. ] You're serious?
[ Well, alright then, names and cool, probably generic professions unmentioned by canon. Discuss. Conclude. ] I guess if I had to sum them up, they're busy people. Not like neglectful or anything, they're really supportive, especially with school and stuff, I just remember having a lot of time to myself back when I was a kid. I was either out a lot or in a lot... Pretty sure I just came home to sleep for a couple years, never really bothered them. Maybe that says something about them, but I didn't mind. [ Something about him brightens up just a bit as he goes on, ] That was when there was this big abandoned house at the end of our street, it was full of stray cats. I'm not kitten, there must've litterally been a hundred of them that would come and go, in every size and shape and color pawsible. And I mew almost every one of 'em purrsonally, that took tailent.
[ Things that probably also took talent: not so much as skipping a beat on that many on-the-fly puns, let alone getting them out with a straight face. More importantly, why?? ]
[ It's not exactly riveting information, but it is exactly what she was looking for, so Ramir listens contentedly. You know someone a little better when you know where they came from, after all.
Then the cats come up. She snorts at the first pun as soon as she catches it, then picks her head up from where she'd leaned it on his shoulder when they keep coming. ]
Holy shit, give a girl some warning. [ Talk about a barrage. Three in a sentence, jeez.
She takes a second to consider, then adds: ] Cats really bring out the purrfessional punster in you, huh? [ wait, crap, he just used purr in one of them. a second later: ] Can I expect a clawsome act like this every time they pop up?
[ He was probably about to keep going hard too, but (thankfully) she catches him in the act and he promptly bites his lip. One or two can usually sneak by unassumingly in casual conversation, people just assume they'd misheard, but he'd really let her have it hadn't he... As soon as she starts snickering and calling him on it, he peters out. ]
I— Uh, yeah, sort of. I pawnestly cat help it, it's just kind of a tic I've got whenever I mewntion them.
[ See, repeats are totally purrmitted, Ramir. If you go through this many you pretty much gotta. It sounds like a canned excuse, one that he's pretty used to delivering. It's a weird one, but no one's questioned it yet. But... Hell, they're staying in a big magic castle floating through spacetime, they just killed a hentai villain on Deer Hawaii, no one should possess any disbelief to suspend anymore. ]
Actually... Y'know what, okay. If you promise not to laugh I'll tell you something I haven't mentioned to anyone in like fifteen years.
[ Ramir might actually have been content with that answer, if only because it's such an adorable tic. But at mention of a 15-year secret her entire opinion of it changes, melting into an already delighted grin. Secrets. Her favorite things. ]
I've never laughed at anything in my life.
[ Definitely true, definitely. He should know it's true by the way she just laughed at his puns a second ago. But her smile stays wide as she scoots in just a little closer. ]
[ This was... probably a mistake. Wow, this was definitely a mistake. But he can't back out now, the sheer glee in that smile is more than enough to convince him he'd never get a moment's peace again if he did. ]
Alright, so I stopped by that house purrty much every day after school when I was six or seven. I loved cats. I still do, but like, it was bad back then, like I'd give them almeowst all my lunch on the daily... One day I started hearing voices when I got there, whiskers I could like actually understand. I was pawsitive someone else had gotten there furst and I almost high-tailed it, but a black cat stopped me and... told me that as a token of appurreciation for all the food I'd brought 'em, he'd... granted me the ability to understand them. With the one clawse being I could nefur tell anyone about it.
[ God as if it wasn't hard enough to take seriously without the uncontrollable wordplay, but maybe it lends to its authenticity. Anyway, as he goes on, Sigma's face scrunches up in something resembling exasperation. ]
So what does little grade-school me do? Go and blurt it out to this girl I really liked, almost right away... When the black cat found out he cursed me to speak only in cat puns fur the rest of my life. Then I guess a white cat thought that was a litter harsh and lessened the sentence down to, well. Only if it's the topic of clawnversation.
[ This is... slightly unbelievable, but what the hell, Ramir has never been one to question someone else's world. There's too much weird shit out there, she's walking proof of it. It's the puns that have her attention, mostly. She really does her best to listen seriously, but it proves almost immediately impossible.
By the time he's finished she's dropped her head to rest her forehead on his shoulder, her own shaking in helpless (but silent!) laughter. If she doesn't laugh loudly, it's almost like she's kept her promise not to laugh at all. Right? ]
[ Lucky for her he's off in recollection land, otherwise he would've shut up halfway through for sure. But once he so much as glances down for her reaction— yeah, yep, she's definitely about to lose her shit. ]
Oh fuck off!
[ The hand around her waist jumps up to the back of her head and he shoves it indignantly forward into the water before folding his arms over his chest. It's mostly reflexive, he knows it sounds like a weird-ass fever dream a kid would have, but what other explanation for the compulsive behavior does he have?? ]
Like you don't have anything just as hilariously personal. C'mon, I'm also cursed to never laugh, I swear.
[ Her laughter bubbles up when she hits the water, and it's out in full force when she pops back up again, drifting back. She doesn't let herself stay drifted though, and heads straight back in to invite herself directly into his lap, all the better to throw two helpless arms around his neck. ]
Oh my god, sorry, it's just -- you're so fucking cute. A litter harsh, holy shit.
[ If she has any more praise for his very tragic curse, it's lost to laughter that is definitely long past silent. ]
[ Really helping here, she is. And once she's piling back onto his lap he lets out a groan, as if she were a cat he'd just shooed off the counter immediately clawing its way back up his leg. ]
Shut up! I can't even tell I'm doing it...
[ He slumps a little further with the help of her added weight around his neck, chin to the top of the water, arms still firmly folded. ]
[ That's even cuter, how is it possible? Amazing. But eventually sanity reasserts itself and her laughter finally dies out again. She spends the last of it pressing a firm kiss to his cheek, and when she pulls out again to regard him with a fond smile, it's finally past. ]
Okay, sorry. Listen, though, I got some serious leverage for you — you can use it if I'm ever being too big a dick.
[ And it pains her to offer that, it really does. Her smile fades into a grimace. Out with it in a rush, like pulling off a bandaid: ]
Ana Ramir's a new thing, I made it up a few years ago. Before that, I was Elisabetta.
[ Her efforts to placate him are met with a stubborn tight-lipped crocodile stare from just above the waterline, but it finally softens up once she gets down to offering secrets of her own. And once she spits it out, his lips go back to being pursed, in a bit of a different manner. ]
[ A manner that doesn't work if the snort of laughter that escapes him is anything to go by. ]
... Yeah, Ana Ramir's a little bit cooler.
[ It's no cursed by magical talking cats story, making it an almost disappointing exchange, but it's one of those facts that builds on itself over the course of a minute, like the heat of a really spicy pepper. Being sort of tipsy doesn't help. Giving up on biting his lip, his smirk accompanies itself with a borderline giggle. ]
Seriously, only a few years ago? God I can't even picture you ever going by something that... delicate.
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[ When he drops down beside her, he purses his lips a little. There's always expectations, but with her... Ah. Right. ]
Yeah, no kidding... I've been thinking about it since the whole volcano thing, but like, I don't even know where to start. [ His face scrunches up a little. ] Fighting gods definitely wasn't the answer, I'll tell you that.
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[ She doesn't look pleased as she says it. She can rip apart monsters and shit, but it's not exactly a graceful solution to fighting, and she's about out of luck with anything that resists her strength. And then there's Sigma, and his stunt with the drowning... yeah, it wasn't a great time. ]
Anyway, I got a plan there. Are you willing to put in the time to learn a couple things?
[ She glances up at him as she asks it, genuinely curious. She would have turned down training earlier, before Nalawi. Now she's pretty sure she's got the patience to learn how to better herself, but she wouldn't expect it from everyone. ]
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[ Anyway, he perks up again at her proposition. Even if she isn't formally trained in anything, she's definitely been in more than enough fights to have way more of an idea of what to do than him, in every way shape and form. ]
Yeah, of course, absolutely. What've you got in mind?
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Koltira, Achilles, Graham, or... hm, maybe Gilgamesh. [ Can Gilgamesh fight, like, without just throwing a hundred swords at stuff? She's not sure, but it seems likely. She's still smiling, right up until she remembers a potentially devastating fact, and it falls sharply: ] Wait. Oh, shit, I never got around to Achilles! I really wanted to sleep with that guy.
[ is it too late now??? monogamy is the worst ]
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Wh-- Oh come on, it's been two minutes!
[ If not genuinely wounded, he does look genuinely whacked across the face at least. Like she'd taken a rolled up newspaper to a dog's snout. Knowing her for her, a part of him is striving to laugh it off, but the excitement from her agreeing to try some sort of dating is still way too raw for that kind of salt. ]
[ If she was going somewhere with that list, it's a little lost on him now. ]
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I'm getting used to it, okay! [ She dwells on her disappointment for a few seconds, then takes a breath in and lets it out as a low sigh. Like she's coming to a decision: ] He looks good, but he's completely insufferable. I'd rather date you than fuck him.
[ Okay, that's a conclusion she can live with. And, realizing a little slowly this may have been slightly insensitive, she leans to press a kiss to Sigma, half cheek and half corner of his mouth. ]
Sorry. You wanna fantasize about any hot chicks, you're more than welcome, I promise.
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[ But once she resolves her regret, he lets out a little huff of something that's probably more relief than he'd care to admit out loud, and goes about avoiding that admission with another drink. It's hypocritical relief at best; there sure are plenty of women here he wouldn't have minded cozying up to, he's just managed to find the best one first. He's gonna cling a little. ]
Thanks. I'll try to keep that list to myself though. [ The kiss nudges the corner of his mouth back into a smile, and he leans up to return one to her temple. ]
So... what was it you were saying about those guys?
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I think they'd be good trainers. [ She drapes one leg over Sigma's as she settles against his side, sipping from her drink. ] And I could really fucking use it — we could use it, plus a few more around here, I bet.
[ She didn't give a shit the first half year she was in ALASTAIR, but suddenly she's started caring about the members around her, and taking a definite interest in whether or not they survive the next world. It sounds like a lot of work, but it's ultimately for the best. ]
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You're telling me. I kinda feel like everyone here is either mega competent or not at all, and there's nothing in between...
[ A beat of consideration. ]
Well you're sorta in between I guess, but you've got all that super strength going for you, most of the time... What, gonna ask 'em to teach classes?
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I'm gonna be mega competent. [ That's out in a mumble, mostly because she can't really deny that without her strength, she's not much. Anyway. ] But yeah, that's what I got in mind. Not sure yet what I'll offer back, but I figure some of 'em will do it outta the goodness of their hearts.
[ People are stupid to just do things and not expect anything in return, but if it's offered she'll definitely take it.
With a glance up and a crooked smile: ] You'll take classes with me, right?
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[ He snickers a little too easily at her mumble though. To be fair, the number of very solid things he's seen her wrench apart in a terrifying and slightly sexy manner has already put her in the Mega Competent category for him, and despite being depowered on Nalawi once upon a cult kidnapping she still had way more of an idea how to carry herself in a brawl than him, even if it wasn't polished. ]
[ The thought of her professionally trained in combat is worth a straight up shiver down his spine tbh. ]
You think? [ The goodness of their hearts thing. Sure, there are some real gems here, but most of the high-powered people he's met here have been pretty dickish so far. That aside, he blinks a little at her suggestion. ] Of course I would, that'd be awesome. But...
[ Misplaced bewilderment morphs into pretty justified apprehension. ]
Maybe just as long as we don't like, pair up and practice or anything. I feel like if you put in any sort of effort I'd end up in the hospital...
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Are you kidding? I'm definitely gonna practice with someone hardier than the average human.
[ She makes a face at the thought of sparring with Sigma. She's usually pretty stingy with her apologies, but any time she's accidentally hurt him, even a little, has generally warranted one. She'd hate herself if she got carried away in training and did any real harm. ]
Don't tell anyone, but I fucking hate misjudging this shit and getting someone hurt. [ Those control issues she might be able to acknowledge she has. She heaves a sigh and intercepts that hand at her knee to thread her fingers through his and give it a squeeze. ] It happens less than it used to, but I bet this whole thing will make it a whole lot easier not to at all.
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[ His hand forms to hers on contact, the gesture so frequently inflicted that it's practically muscle memory by this point. Quick and thoughtless, not even enough to punctuate the sudden seriousness in her words. So he'll take that upon himself, ducking his head and nudging her's up until he's forehead-to-forehead and grinning down her sincerity. ]
Well if it makes you feel any better, you got a pretty good track record in other uh, fields demanding physical judgment... For the most part. [ To date, he's probably only gotten one pretty spectacular bruise that wasn't at least partially his fault, right. ]
[ For real though, the grin sobers itself up before pressing to her lips, short and off-center, but brimming with something knowing. Being largely unconscious for the majority of her more serious freak outs didn't make it much less obvious that she's a real softie in there somewhere under all the brawn, no need to tell him twice. ]
Always room for improvement though... Seriously, this is a good plan you've got going, for all of us. I'm definitely in.
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Put all together like this... she decides she likes the label they picked up.
She smiles and shifts to lean up and grab another kiss, less short and less off-center. Appreciative. ]
Hey, Sigma. [ She doesn't go far when she pulls back again, and the smile hasn't gone anywhere. ] Tell me about your parents. Or whoever you grew up with, whatever.
[ If she's got a boyfriend, she may as well start actually learning about him. ]
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[ Speaking of being caught off guard, the kiss is barely over and she's gone completely off the wall. He leans back a little further, brow furrowed in complete bewilderment. ]
What— Where'd that come from all of a sudden? Don't tell me you wanna meet 'em already.
[ Thanks, booze, for not letting the laugh in his voice be hampered by the fact that at this point in history there's about a 75% chance that they're dead. Anyway, his head tilts a little at her persisting grin. ] You're serious?
[ Well, alright then, names and cool, probably generic professions unmentioned by canon. Discuss. Conclude. ] I guess if I had to sum them up, they're busy people. Not like neglectful or anything, they're really supportive, especially with school and stuff, I just remember having a lot of time to myself back when I was a kid. I was either out a lot or in a lot... Pretty sure I just came home to sleep for a couple years, never really bothered them. Maybe that says something about them, but I didn't mind. [ Something about him brightens up just a bit as he goes on, ] That was when there was this big abandoned house at the end of our street, it was full of stray cats. I'm not kitten, there must've litterally been a hundred of them that would come and go, in every size and shape and color pawsible. And I mew almost every one of 'em purrsonally, that took tailent.
[ Things that probably also took talent: not so much as skipping a beat on that many on-the-fly puns, let alone getting them out with a straight face. More importantly, why?? ]
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Then the cats come up. She snorts at the first pun as soon as she catches it, then picks her head up from where she'd leaned it on his shoulder when they keep coming. ]
Holy shit, give a girl some warning. [ Talk about a barrage. Three in a sentence, jeez.
She takes a second to consider, then adds: ] Cats really bring out the purrfessional punster in you, huh? [ wait, crap, he just used purr in one of them. a second later: ] Can I expect a clawsome act like this every time they pop up?
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I— Uh, yeah, sort of. I pawnestly cat help it, it's just kind of a tic I've got whenever I mewntion them.
[ See, repeats are totally purrmitted, Ramir. If you go through this many you pretty much gotta. It sounds like a canned excuse, one that he's pretty used to delivering. It's a weird one, but no one's questioned it yet. But... Hell, they're staying in a big magic castle floating through spacetime, they just killed a hentai villain on Deer Hawaii, no one should possess any disbelief to suspend anymore. ]
Actually... Y'know what, okay. If you promise not to laugh I'll tell you something I haven't mentioned to anyone in like fifteen years.
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I've never laughed at anything in my life.
[ Definitely true, definitely. He should know it's true by the way she just laughed at his puns a second ago. But her smile stays wide as she scoots in just a little closer. ]
All ears, go for it.
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[ This was... probably a mistake. Wow, this was definitely a mistake. But he can't back out now, the sheer glee in that smile is more than enough to convince him he'd never get a moment's peace again if he did. ]
Alright, so I stopped by that house purrty much every day after school when I was six or seven. I loved cats. I still do, but like, it was bad back then, like I'd give them almeowst all my lunch on the daily... One day I started hearing voices when I got there, whiskers I could like actually understand. I was pawsitive someone else had gotten there furst and I almost high-tailed it, but a black cat stopped me and... told me that as a token of appurreciation for all the food I'd brought 'em, he'd... granted me the ability to understand them. With the one clawse being I could nefur tell anyone about it.
[ God as if it wasn't hard enough to take seriously without the uncontrollable wordplay, but maybe it lends to its authenticity. Anyway, as he goes on, Sigma's face scrunches up in something resembling exasperation. ]
So what does little grade-school me do? Go and blurt it out to this girl I really liked, almost right away... When the black cat found out he cursed me to speak only in cat puns fur the rest of my life. Then I guess a white cat thought that was a litter harsh and lessened the sentence down to, well. Only if it's the topic of clawnversation.
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By the time he's finished she's dropped her head to rest her forehead on his shoulder, her own shaking in helpless (but silent!) laughter. If she doesn't laugh loudly, it's almost like she's kept her promise not to laugh at all. Right? ]
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Oh fuck off!
[ The hand around her waist jumps up to the back of her head and he shoves it indignantly forward into the water before folding his arms over his chest. It's mostly reflexive, he knows it sounds like a weird-ass fever dream a kid would have, but what other explanation for the compulsive behavior does he have?? ]
Like you don't have anything just as hilariously personal. C'mon, I'm also cursed to never laugh, I swear.
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Oh my god, sorry, it's just -- you're so fucking cute. A litter harsh, holy shit.
[ If she has any more praise for his very tragic curse, it's lost to laughter that is definitely long past silent. ]
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Shut up! I can't even tell I'm doing it...
[ He slumps a little further with the help of her added weight around his neck, chin to the top of the water, arms still firmly folded. ]
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Okay, sorry. Listen, though, I got some serious leverage for you — you can use it if I'm ever being too big a dick.
[ And it pains her to offer that, it really does. Her smile fades into a grimace. Out with it in a rush, like pulling off a bandaid: ]
Ana Ramir's a new thing, I made it up a few years ago. Before that, I was Elisabetta.
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[ A manner that doesn't work if the snort of laughter that escapes him is anything to go by. ]
... Yeah, Ana Ramir's a little bit cooler.
[ It's no cursed by magical talking cats story, making it an almost disappointing exchange, but it's one of those facts that builds on itself over the course of a minute, like the heat of a really spicy pepper. Being sort of tipsy doesn't help. Giving up on biting his lip, his smirk accompanies itself with a borderline giggle. ]
Seriously, only a few years ago? God I can't even picture you ever going by something that... delicate.
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